Blog, Career, Debate, Opinion

What do you do ?

by Antonia

We’re asked this on a daily basis. As if your job is your identity. Middle name even. But really, what were we brought on this earth for?

I personally find this quite a judgmental question. Especially in the early stages of meeting someone. It’s usually the second question they ask you. And within the millisecond of you answering it, you instantly see their expression change. It’s the constant looking to please someone. Validate yourself. But why are we even letting someone judge what we do?

Theres so much emphasis put on what you’re going to do and how much you’re going to earn that its a never ending cycle of pressure. You sometimes wonder if people were brought up to be more focused on being wholesome people, learning what makes them happy, then finding what jobs are in that market, that maybe they’re wouldn’t be so many people looking to find happiness in unconventional ways. A huge surge of people are going though depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders. The rising numbers of people on anti depressants. Suicide is the most common cause of death for men aged 20-49 years in England and Wales, and it makes you think, why?

There’s so much pressure on men to hold down a decent job, find a partner, buy a house, get married, kids. But if they can’t hold down work, they think they can’t carry out all the other steps expected in life. I clearly can’t speak for all men but the male figures I’ve had in my life hardly/never speak about their emotions. They have this bravado so much of the time. I’ve even heard one say ‘I can’t speak to my male friends about emotions, how I’m feeling or if I’m going through something. It’s just not done, not accepted’. That has to change. Everyone should have at least one person they can confide in. If you can overcome the stigma, you’re stronger than you thought. Imagine if someone’s going through tough times in their life, and person after person keeps asking as soon as they meet you, what do you do? Even doctors do it. There is literally no way of avoiding the question.

The same goes for women but in a different way. Women are expected to be a man and woman in one. Work and do the household responsibilities. Nowadays, society and some men expect you to hold down a job, good enough to split everything 50 50. Like household expenses, rent/mortgage, car, maintenance. Make breakfast for both of you, go to work, shop, come back and make dinner. And everything in between. It’s like you’re working a 24 hour job all the time. It’s a lot for women and too much for some. These 21st century expectations to work AND ‘keep the household clean’. Is it so bad that some women want to work and not have the majority of household responsibilities? Of course not. And the same vice versa. Some women like being more traditional, and rather look after the household/kids and have that as their full time job. Is that wrong? No. There is no right or wrong. It’s what fits YOU. And what you’d rather want to do. There are some superwomen out there, who are single mothers and hold down a job, and they’re admirable. Inspirational even. But I do find society makes some females feel bad/lazy for being more traditional or housewives. Or even when we go back to work soon after maternity leave, you get the stigma of being absent through your child’s early stages. And I think that is so wrong. Who are you to tell someone what to do? We as women go through so much in life so the very least we can, and should have is the option in how we want to live our lives. With no predjudice.

There’s too much focus on what you do. Work. They never want you to come off that hamster wheel. And when you thoroughly think about it, it’s to keep the ‘class system’ and to make people work until they’re almost lifeless. England has risen its pension age, so elderly people have to work until an even older age than some of them want, and who does that benefit? The government, the state.

What makes you truly happy? Forget about the expectations they enthral within us from a very early age. There’s so much beauty to the world we’re in. So many experiences, most of us will never have the opportunity to fulfil. And if we let the power of people among us, completely control what we do with our lives, we will never see the beauty that life luckily offers us. Life is short, and you only realise that when it’s too late.

Comment below what you think your purpose is in life!

38 thoughts on “What do you do ?”

  1. Nice post. I like seeing how far you can get into a conversation with someone before they ask. Americans almost always ask pretty quickly. With people from other countries, it’s different. Some never ask about your job but they do ask about your family. It shows where people’s priorities are. Cheers

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  2. I couldn’t agree more with your perspective! When I was dating, I always told the guys, hey I am a traditional type of woman. While I evetually will have my own online business, I prefer to stay at home – be there for the children, for school activities when they come home from school (this was very important to me) and take care of the day-to-day home needs etc… Yes, I had a Bachelors degree, however, what was more important to me was establishing, love, peace, harmony and care at home.

    It was interesting the responses I received. I did realize however, men who (at the time I met them) were not able to support a stay at home wife, household expenses and children, absolutely refused to even consider this. And that’d ok, not everyone is at that stage in life. However, I disliked being called lazy bc I wanted to start my business (which would generate income), and have the children know they can depend on at least one parent and not just the school.

    This was a great post!!! I think we should all be honest with ourselves first, and then open with the people who may have different ideals and opinions from us, without judgement.

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  3. I used to dread this question in 2010. My degree was freshly printed, hanging on my wall, and awaited phone calls from employers. I’m happy things have greatly improved with patience and diligence.

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  4. The thing is nowadays , no one is i the right place , you find that an employe does not love his job but he has to do it , no one gives chance to someone who really deserves, then everybody is complaining . I just think that it becomes harder to acheive a dream or to complete a purpose in life.
    loved reading your post it’s so true and unfortunate !

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  5. Basically, we are in a rush world where we have so much pressure upon us. Ask me, about 70% people expect me to get into engineering by getting a seat at IIT(best engineering college in India) and the rest 30% settles upon medicals! Likewise pressure upon women for handling household choros as if they are only person.
    Still we say proudly we are in 21st😠 century 😂

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    1. Wow it’s a lot! The modern world is something that’s for sure. We only have 2 hands😭! Thankyou for reading😊

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  7. Very well spoken. I totally agree with on the fact that the professional situation is almost a middle name and it does put a lot of pressure when you’re still hesitating, or at home for the time being, or if you choose to stay at home with or without children. It has become such a hassle for everyone to have a job and prove/show their worth like that. What about other types of activities, creativity, boredom even ? We should all feel free to act as it suits is, work 24/7 if we please. Not work of we choose not to. Do part time if that’s better. And stop defining ourselves by what we do as a job. It’s a very pressing question.

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  11. That’s the almighty question, right? Still searching for my answer lol. That said, I firmly believe that it’s writing for me. I am a paralegal by day, but something deep down in my heart tells me that I should be in some secluded paradise in nature somewhere just capturing the little time I have here on earth. Hence, Earth to Ash hehe. Great post, thought-provoking for sure.

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    1. It’s amazing that you truly know what you’re purpose is in life as many people don’t. Earth to Ash is a great name! Aww Thankyouu for reading/commenting and glad you enjoyed the post!😊

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  13. I can’t say about the purpose of life that’s a big question but what we do plays a role in society and earns is money so we can live. While I agree with you in the way society works what we do is important. It takes up a lot of time I know 😂

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    1. I appreciate your opinion and to a certain extent I agree. But some people interpret the question ‘what do you do?’ as a personal question and feel uneasy disclosing within seconds of meeting someone. So it makes me think there are many other questions I could ask someone within the first few moments of meeting them, and I may be able to get an even greater understanding of them as a person before I ask the same question we ask time and time again.
      Thankyouu for reading and commenting😊

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      1. That’s ok… You’ve got some good posts. I’m not so much into the lipstick and foundation but you’ve got some good thinking.

        I know what you mean about having different questions but also when I consider that most of my waking life is spent working it’s not irrelevant. I guess it’s each to their own, Mehr say to people you talk to dint all me what I do? 😂😂

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  14. This was such a brilliant insightful post! As a mid-twenties guy trying to find his way in the world, I totally agree with you about the massive pressures facing our generation today & the huge expectations others have for fulfilling our set life goals.
    I’ve only ever worked in retail as my first proper day job, so I’ve really found blogging to be a great outlet for my creativity & sharing different advice for upcoming bloggers. When someone persists ‘what do you do?’ I tend to fall back on the failsafe ‘I help people. What about you?’

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    1. Aww Thankyou! Yes blogging is so helpful in many different ways. I’m so glad you enjoyed this post! Thankyouu for reading and commenting!😊

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  15. As one who has been through the work system and is now retired, I recall all of the pressures and a few motes of wisdom. In my case, I worked hard and long hours to make a better life for my family than I had growing up. I made sure they were fed, housed, clothed and educated, so they could face the world. On retiring, two thoughts summed up my work life….1) “The job is what I do, not who I am.” If you retire many after many years working (44 in my case) and have no identity outside your job, you are not successful, no matter your work accomplishments. 2) Retirement is the best promotion I ever worked for.” Life is not all about work. Life is about improving yourself, learning skills, helping people, etc. I knew my retirement date 26 months out and that date never changed from when I set it. Do I miss work? NO! Do I miss the people (coworkers, customers, contacts)? Yes! I am proud to be defined by who I am, not what I do. Cheers and keep working for that promotion.

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